It's Been A Long, Long Time.

Damn.

Yeah, so its been a year since I finished my Fulbright in Manila, and two years since I started this blog. What a journey. This blog began as "Striving for Praxis" - because that intersection between theory and practice was what I was looking for when I left to go study theatre in the Philippines in August 2007.

Sidenote: I'm a Fulbright Alumni Ambassador, so if you're interested in help with your application, or want to know more about my experience go here: a YouTube video interview by IIE about my experience (I can't *stand* this video), and my essay on Fulbright application tips.

Since then, its been a wild ride - I directed a show (check out photos on my portfolio), traveled through some of Southeast Asia, moved to New York City, been hustlin' by babysitting, working random laborious gigs, and assistant directing shows in NYC. All the while, I've been living and loving life (including the down, dark, periods - and there were some, trust me), meeting amazing people, and working, sharing, and collaborating with them.

Two years ago, I was looking for the link between theory and practice. I had just left the love of my life, Smith College, with a BA in Government and Women's Studies, and I wanted to be a theatre director. Armed with post-colonial theory, feminist knowledge, American race and cultural studies, and one full-length play under my belt, I was ready to find a way to bridge academia and art. If that wasn't challenging enough, I was going to do it in the Philippines. On a Fulbright. While "finding myself" as a Fil Am and rediscovering my history, heritage, and culture! Go me! I was going to crack open the world!

Then the world cracked me open.
Like a fucking egg.
Not one of those awesome salty purple eggs that are tough and resilient.
I was a thin-shelled, pesticide-ridden, sad, non-organic cage-fed chicken egg.

Needless to say, the world gave me a well-deserved bitch slap and it hurt like hell.
Then I moved to New York City, (because one smack down wasn't enough), and found myself surviving. Then, soon after, thriving.

I found myself changed, calmer, humbler, growing.

I realized that so many decisions I had made in the past were driven by what was "right," and the insanely high expectations of myself were motivated by fear - fear of failure and hurt. I began to realize that failing, and surviving, was my best success. Now, I find myself gaining a truer, more honest and genuine confidence.

Which brings me to where I am now, and why "Striving for Praxis" has been renamed "The Center for Sustainable Foolishness."

Two years later, I am beginning to learn to bridge the gap between theory and practice, ideas and art. I am starting my first year at NYU's Tisch School of the Arts, in the Interactive Telecommunications Program (ITP). ITP is an interdisciplinary program, a playground for artists and technologists to come together, learn from each other, and create things with our (and each others) brains and hands. I've only been here two days, and it is a magical fucking place. I have very little background in technology and new media, but I am so privileged, excited, and eager to learn to make things that I cannot even yet imagine, with creative people whose interests and disciplines are diverse and wide.

My first day of school, my morning class involved learning to wire a microcontroller to an LED and make it light up. Then, my second class of the day lectured to us, "poetry drives you, not hardware."

I am so happy to be in an environment where I have so much learning to do, that I have no conception of what I can make and what I am capable of. It is freeing.

I am inspired by this quote:

"Start a huge, foolish project,
like Noah.

It makes absolutely no difference
what people think of you."

-Rumi

I've renamed this blog because I'm ready to be a damned fool.
I want to make mistakes and look ridiculous. I want to make bad decisions, freak out, cry, move forward, and learn and grow.

This will be where I will be posting my work, projects and ideas from ITP.

Thank you for witnessing my transformation from a true and sad dolt, to a joyful playful fool. Enjoy!